Monday, November 8, 2010

A TV Club Of Epic Proportions

Read it here right now or read it at some time in the future. (Yeah, tumblr. The last person to leave MySpace has just turned off the lights)
Gossip Girl
CC: I can't believe it took me THIS long to realize that Serena's new professor guy is totally Joan's husband on Mad Men. I'm an idiot. And here I was all proud of myself for recognizing Stephanie from Mad Men in the new season of LXD ( Ah well. The only true point of note this week is that BLAIR AND CHUCK TOTALLY GOT IT ON YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!
JB: Nice to see Robyn getting a little more US exposure. Nice to see Rachel Zoe slimed. And with that I deleted the rest of the season from the DVR.

Vampire Diaries
CC: OMG, JB! Another stabbing that did absolutely nothing! The DEFAULT at this point should be that if someone dies, they're probably not dead, but I keep on forgetting! Wannabe-Riggins Vamp is dead though. We hardly knew ye.
JB: So wait, Katherine isn't the original doppelganger? Which means Elena is the doppelganger of the doppelganger.(This show gets very word-fixated. Vervain. Moonstone. Doppelganger). An even earlier even eviler Katherine means more Dobrev ranginess aka I can't wait! I may have completely misread the Damon/Bonnie signals but I think I'm not wrong that he's going to get over his unrequited I-love-you to Elena with English Joan Jett vamp.
JB: Admit it, you registered that the actors playing the dead girl's grieving parents weren't giving Emmy-winning performances but you jumped out of your chair when the dad suddenly tried to garrot Nikita. Admit, also, you wanted her to adopt, if not that particular dog( it was a little too licky) then definitely some sort of pet for her to talk to in the massive loft. And once again, I know I'm always wrong about this stuff but the introduction of rival organization Gogol means that Division suddenly looks like the lesser of two evils and Nikita ends up in an uneasy truce with the devil she knows.
Friday Night Lights
JB: I think I know less about football now than whenI started watching this. That whole dramatic `State' thing at the end shot straight over my head. But I do know that Vince Howard showing his cleaned-up mom the letters from all the colleges interested in him and cheering "We're never gonna have to worry about anything again" can only lead to catastrophe. I also know that Julie Taylor has a type and he is deadly boring. I know that Luke Cafferty is Saracen 2.0 and Epic (really? Epic? That's a name? That's trending? Is Awesome a name, too?) is not worth Tami Taylor's time.
The Walking Dead
JB: Minus points for not using the tank. Sheriff Rick was in the tank. The street was swarming with zombies. This is not a show that skimps on the gore. The tank should have been used for squashing zombies. Minus even more points for every bit of dialogue out of everybody's mouth and ESPECIALLY Merle Dixon the redneck racist and T-Dog the enraged black man. Add most of these points back for the scene where Sheriff Rick and his twitchy Asian sidekick coated themselves in gore from a zombie corpse so the walking dead wouldn't pick up their human scent. This is going to be one of those shows that's at it's best when no-one's talking.
The X Factor
JB: And now I bring you The Most Hated Woman in Britain. Every day the UK press dredge up new and even more objectionable morsels from the life of Katie Waissell. Every day it becomes more obvious how much her fellow contestants loathe her. The people who work on The X Factor don't even try to hide their disdain. The public put her in the bottom two every week. But the judges. Will not send her home. Here she is singing for her life:
CC: I realize it wasn't on this week. But I read on the interwebs that Gwyneth Paltrow is gonna be guest-starring and I instantly said "Fuck you Glee!" and vowed never to watch it again. Then later on the interwebs I found this link:
and was just psyched enough that for once they actually did an A CAPPELLA ARRANGEMENT of the fucking song that I decided to watch again. I'm fastforwarding through Gwyneth though.

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