Tuesday, November 2, 2010

TV Club Of The Dead!

It's here! It's also there: http://blogs.myspace.com/cherrycheva
CC: I think I've already registered how much I liked the Mercedes version of "Sweet Tranvestite." Allow me to now register how much I didn't like most of the rest of this (of course). Now, having to change a bunch of the lyrics, probably not their fault. It's an 8pm show. And Heather Morris, of course, killed her dancing. But. As usual. COME ON. If levels of anger re: this show equaled calorie expenditure, I would have Nina Dobrev's body by now.
JB: Someone smarter than me came up with the theory that there are three Glees. The ones Ryan Murphy writes and the ones the other two guys write where they try to clean up the mess he made. It's a waste of my fingers to point out the inconsistencies and the idiocies but...it's not like I'm doing much else with my fingers. WHY have Mike Chang volunteer to play Frank N Furter and then devolunteer? What purpose? Just to give him something to say? And Schue. The whole thing. Made. No. Sense. And Sue? What? And Finn! Over the course of three episodes, Finn has played 1) TheStupidest, Most Gullible Guy In The World, 2) A Smart And Sophisticated Interpretor Of High School Sexual Stereotypes and 3) A Guy Terrified Of His Own Body. This last one...we've seen him shirtless in the changing room countless times,he was in the hot tub with Quinn and banged Santana... he didn't have a problem with his body until Ryan Murphy needed an Issue Of The week.


CC: Jon Hamm is hilarious and I laughed basically every time he did that little piano plink in that sketch towards the end. Rihanna is sexy and charismatic and she's great at being annoyed in those Shy Ronnie things. Kristin Wiig is in too many sketches. I get it. I get why this happens. Probably the other girls had stuff that didn't go as well in dress, and obviously writers cast Wiig in shit cuz she delivers and then what you wrote gets in the show, but...Kristin Wiig is in too many sketches.
JB: Even though it was straight up NBC Universal unpaid advertising, I could have watched an entire 90 minutes of Back To The Future auditions. I concur with the above assessment of the Whig Glut. Happened to Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler,too. Except I never got the sinking feeling with them I do when she shows up. Which is because is her repertoire runs the gamut from awkward to delusional.

The Women Of SNL
JB: What happened to Jan Hooks? And Cheri Oteri's face?

Vampire Diaries

CC: Best. Fucking. Episode. EVER. EVER! YOU HEAR ME? EVER!!!!!!!!!!
JB: Here's my review: FUCK!. Wait, I got more. Cancel the rest of the series right now because they'll never make a better episode than that. Wait, I got more. Writers and producers working on shows unable to move their plots forward( Hello, The Event) or tell coherent stories ( Yes you, Glee) or remove their fingers from the reset button (uh-huh, Gossip Girl),learn the lessons of this episode. Everything happened. Nina Dobrev ruled the world. Vampire Caroline was awesome and remained in character while doing so. The breadth of the Bennett witch dynasty was revealed. A new werewolf was unleashed. Bonnie and JerEMO became a cute couple (despite some idiot surmising that a Bonnie/Damon romance was inevitable). Mrs Mayor gave a shout-out to everyone who rolls their eyes at the Mystic Falls event of the week when she said of the masquerade, "I don't know how it's supposed to help the homeless." And Elena was abducted thus opening up a whole new chapter. There were probably other things that happened that I can't remember right now. That's how it's supposed to work, TV. There's supposed to be too much good stuff to remember.

Friday Night Lights
JB: This first episode felt like a last episode so what's the last episode going to be like? Stoic Riggins in the prison yard. Billy Riggins begging The Coach for a chance to prove himself. Julie Taylor leaves home. Landry's last night. And The Coach's "I'm gonna miss this"? Speaking for all of us.


CC: Can we talk about Nikita's ridonkulous cut-out loungewear? Seriously. That floor-length maxidress made out of what appeared to be very soft, comfy T-material, but with panels missing on either side of the stomach? What's that about? Rib ventilation? And then that shirt with the multiple slashes all along the arms? I'd watch this show for the hilarious wardrobe alone, but lucky me there's also cool stuff like that guy becoming a cleaner, which I called, oh, six whole seconds before it actually happened. I'm getting smarter!
JB:It's probably a bad sign where you're watching a show and you find yourself thinking about the show you wish they'd made. I wonder if the people who work on Nikita regret starting the story so far down the line. I kind of wish she was a long-time agent who just found out she worked for the bad guys and dedicated herself from that moment on to taking them down. Yes, I wish Nikita was exactly like season 2 of Alias. But only season 2 because it all fell to pieces after that.

The Walking Dead

CC: Holy shit. This show is fucking FANTASTIC. My mind is blown! Yeah, the setup was 28 Days Later, and the opening was reminiscent of Dawn of the Dead (zombie blond child, always scary), but so what, all zombie stuff starts from that same basic place, and it was all awesome anyway, and just got progressively MORE awesome as it went on. The zombie effects are CRRRAZY good, and they are not skimping on the violence and gore AT ALL (that half-lady? that fucked up, crawling half-lady? that horse? eating that fucking horse? oh my god) and they've already planted the seeds of several very interesting storylines, so you KNOW all that drama PLUS flesh-eating monsters at every turn? I want a zillion episodes of this on my DVR and I want them there RIGHT NOW.
JB: I've seen enough horror films and enough zombie films not to be scared by...I WAS SCARED ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS. When zombie mom staggered back to her house. When the main dude rode through empty Atlanta, turned a corner and saw the zombie mob. When he rolled under the tank and looked like he was gonna shoot himself. When the zombies ate the horse. THEY ATE A WHOLE HORSE! We've all been fooled by fantastic pilots that turned into terrible series but I have a feeling this one's going to work. AMC owes us for Rubicon.

Boardwalk Empire
JB: Once again, The Jimmy Darmody Show. Nucky's daddy issues versus Darmody getting the marksman with half a face to dispose of the guy who hacked up his whore= no contest.

Sensitive Brother: This week we...
JB:I probably ran that into the ground a few weeks ago. Best and worst of Supernatural on display here. Great creepy pre-credits sequence-- a jittery waitress driven to suicide when everyone around her starts telling her the truth about herself into the most brutal way possible--gets quickly pissed away when the two brothers deduct a stolen Trumpet of Truth is causing an outbreak of honesty-based deaths. They look at a TV screen and decide a local TV reporter is behind the slaughter. They go to her house and, yes, she turns out to be Veritas, The Goddess of Truth. But then the Goddess of Truth reveals that the sensitive brother has returned from hell without a soul. Now, I'm not saying the two guys on Supernatural are great actors but they're great at being the two guys on Supernatural. Jensen Ackles, who plays the lunkhead, has this looooong no-dialogue reaction to the not-totally-unexpected news that his sibling is probably a demon. And then he beats the shit out of him. Okay, we just saw zombies eat a horse. But this is the CW. This is a teen-aimed network show devoting five minutes of airtime to one guy punching another guy until his knuckles are bloody are the eyes he's hitting swell shut. I find I'm scaring easier these days.

X Factor
JB: The Halloween show. Which lead to this:
And this, which received Best Performance Of The Season accolades and sent the original song skyrocketing back into the charts:

No comments: