Tuesday, November 30, 2010

TV Club Is On Thin Ice!

There's nothing you can read here that you can't also read at http://cherrycheva.tumblr.com/
Glee
JB: Bullying is this show's vervain. You can't get away from it. And how does Glee define bullying? Failure to properly celebrate The GloryOf Kurt. Which is something Ryan Murphy is not guilty of. Kurt's dad's wedding vows? An apology to Kurt. Finn's wedding speech? Another apology to Kurt plus a dance. The Glee club's petty differences? Forgotten in the face of having Kurt's back. Even the nightmarish Carol Burnett storyline ended up with an anti-bullying speech reminding us that Kurt might not have been onscreen but his Glory was still being celebrated.
CC: My jaw literally dropped with how bad the sound production was in this (again, watched only the songs). A very wise fellow viewer mentioned that the thing they do to everyone's voices (I'm talking about that ridiculous wedding number) is the equivalent of the Barbara Walters camera. Difference? Walters needed it. THESE KIDS DON'T. They can sing! Let them fucking SING! Argh. (Bruno Mars is a genius, by the way...I thought "Just the Way You Are" was the most pandering song ever in the history of man, but that "Marry You" song is also his? Good lord. Give him all the money in the world, he's taken James Blunt's lady-trapping key-word-hitting game and hulked it out into some of the most catchy-ass tunes ever.) So, once again, my best Glee experience this week has been the ACTUAL a cappella number featured in the below youtube (I'm on record as being thoroughly sick of the reaction shots, but Puck's here is gold), and I don't even LIKE this song:

JB: Bruno Mars wrote Cee-Lo's Fuck You. So he's working both sides of the pandering equation.
CC: OMG WHAT?! WHAT! WHAT! He's a genius! He's a fucking genius! Cee Lo was totally at my work today, by the way.
The Walking Dead
JB: Some shows go through entire seasons without amassing as many highlights as this single episode managed. The blonde survivor waiting for her sister to revive then shooting her in the head. The beaten-up wife slamming a pickaxe into the skull of her dead zombie husband.Shane the cheating deputy being tempted to shoot Sheriff Rick. The bitten guy left at the roadside to die. The lone scientist. The white light as the doors of CDC open. I'm fully committed to The Walking Dead but most of the post-pilot episodes had a `Yeah, this character stuff kind of drags but but bear with us cuz there's zombies and gore on the way' vibe. Not this one. This had a `See, almost a whole hour went by without a single zombie and you didn't even notice' vibe.
CC: Remember in The Notebook when Ryan Gosling goes "I love you" and Rachel McAdams takes a long pause before saying it back? You know how in Rocky Horror they do that "antici........pation" thing? Blonde lady shooting her sister was the zombie equivalent of that. JUST SHOOT HER SHE'S A ZOMBIE OH MY GOD JUST SHOOT HER ALREADY WHAT IF SHE ENDS UP HAVING LIKE REALLY FAST REFLEXES FOR A ZOMBIE DON'T LEAN IN JUST SHOOT HER AAAAAA!!!! Tension created? In spades. Thanks, show,I love you and I hate you for it.
Skating With The Stars
JB: I vaguely remember Fox trying something like this a few years ago.Lasted one season. Ended with Kristy Swanson double-axeling off into the sunset with her married partner. But a British version has been going strong for a while now. That's because they know how to do it right. Hire fat people, old people, unsteady people and a judge who has no problem telling a female athlete dressed in brown she looks like shit circling the drain. I FF'd through most of Skating W/TheStars but I still saw enough to know they took a different approach.First, there's only six(6) skaters. I know it's a short season but that's not enough to decide who you like, who you hate, who you like to hate, who's comic relief and who you don't care about. Second,no-one's fat or old. Third, the judges. I've seen Boomkack on other shows. She's crazy. She's a screamer and a shoe-thrower. Here she's telling Sean Young what a privilege it is to meet her. And Johnny Weir! Johnny Weir tells people he LIKES they look like shit circling the drain. But not this version. This version applauds Vince Neil for his courage. Fourth, the host. I've heard Americans complaining they can't understand Vernon Kay's northern English accent. I'm from Scotland, a mere stone's throw from where he lives. I follow maybe every fourth syllable.
Weeds
JB:Mary-Louise Parker needs to quit acting because she's never going to get another part as good as the one she's got here. I always forget Weeds is still on. Then I find another season of it taking up DVR space. The last few years, I've gone to get rid of it, checked out a couple of episodes and stuck around for the whole thing. I never bother watching when it's actually showing because I still think Weeds is about a suburban mom who becomes a pot dealer. I keep forgetting they blew up that whole premise. Parker's character married a Mexican druglord last year. Then her psycho son killed his mistress with a croquet mallet. In the season I just watched, she's shooting people with crossbows, having angry sex with Mark-Paul Gosselaar and fucking up the lives of everyone she meets. And even when she's tied up in the trunk of a car next to the body of the journalist she got killed, she still does this doe-eyed, mussy-haired thing like she's not sure if she's in a dream sequence. I look forward to forgetting all about her and rediscovering her show this time next year.
X Factor
JB: Rock Week. You know what that means:

End of the road for that dude. But nothing can stop these kids:



Jabbawockeez at the Monte Carlo
CC: I saw this live show in Vegas. It was, of COURSE, fucking awesome. All the bits you love and remember from their ABDC performances, plus all sorts of new, equally as awesome or even more so, stuff. I sat slackjawed and leaning forward in pure happiness the whole time. So nice to see these guys reaping tons and tons of well-deserved rewards. Afterwards we were walking around the casino and I randomly saw Victor from Quest Crew. You know he was totally hangin' with the Wockeez that weekend. And in fact you DO know cuz I checked twitter and that's exactly what they said.

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