Monday, October 18, 2010

The Happiest TV Club On Earth

Download it here or purchase the limited-edition vinyl package at

CC: It's been documented in SO many places on the interwebs now how this show has totally taken a fucking nosedive (I bet a lot of people have already broken up with it, and I would too except for my fondness for certain cast members and of course, singing and dancing in general), so there's almost no point, but I will say that I only watched three things: Mercedes and Santana, who KILLED IT, then Kurt killing it all by his own self, then Tina and Mike Chang not killing it because I found that song totally irritating and they were fine and cute and whatever, but again, thanks for letting Harry Shum dance, but in that case I want to see MORE OF IT, by which I mean more dancing and also less of his clothes. So, work on that. In related news, I saw Rob Hoffman of Step Up 2 fame at a party and almost freaked out. He was clearly doing that thing where he was like, half-assedly dancing because, you know, everyone else at this place is a total plebe and let's not draw TOO much attention to myself even though if I actually busted out I would have everyone staring and cheering within half a second. I applaud him for that, but I also REALLY wanted to see him actually bust out and have everyone staring and cheering within half a second. Oh well. I was of course too shy to go up and say something to him because I suck as a human being, so I just stared at him a lot from afar, and occasionally from a-near, and then he left.
JB:I have no short-term memory so I have no short-term memory so there might have been earlier episodes of Glee I like as much as this one but, I don't know if I mentioned, I have no short-term memory. Here's what I liked: ladykisses, scissoring, Kurt being called on his creepy stalker bullshit, River Deep Mountain High (Fantastic. Santana solo now! Start the Facebook campaign!), "Is it a blanket?", Dianna Agron rocking a close-up better than anyone else in that not-totally ugly cast, the Asian duet. Here's what I didn't: the scarlet-lettering of Brittany for cynically deflowering Artie. It's not like she didn't tell him she'd slept with the whole team. I demand an episode nailing him for his whiny I-am-my-disability passive-aggressive behavior. And I don't look to Glee for any kind of logic or consistency but did that Rachel-and-Finn-have-to-lose-
the-duet-contest story make any kind of sense? Also, it wasn't until the trailer for next week, I even noticed Jane Lynch hadn't been in the entire episode.
CC: Okay so obviously even though I have many, many issues with this show, I was still sucked in by the fact that they posted all the Rocky Horror songs online, because I loooove Rocky Horror, so I listened to the Mercedes version of Sweet Transvestite and you know what? It fucking rocks. THAT is what they should be doing with all the songs all the time, fucking changing them up-- even just by switching the goddamn gender of the singer, we're talking MILES of improvement. Anyway so now I'm looking forward to the Halloween ep. It'll probably disappoint me. :(

Mad Men
CC: The best part of that whole thing was not "see ya later Dr. Faye" even though I've basically been calling for her head ever since she appeared, and it was not "oh my god, Betty, you are such a fucking bitch" from Henry Francis even though that was totally awesome-- it was that whole Joan/Peggy exchange after they found out Don's marrying Megan. Joan's line as soon as Peggy entered? Gold. And god bless Jessica Pare and her teeth.
JB: People are seriously pulling the Worst Episode Ever card? Like they couldn't believe Don impulsively proposing to Megan? Like that hasn't been his m.o since day one( remember him begging Rachel Menken to run off with him?) Like he knew Betty any better when he married her? Shut up, anyone who was disappointed,you're disqualified from watching Season 5.

Boardwalk Empire
CC: Hey, remember when this show was about gangsters and shit? And violent stuff happened and it was actually interesting to watch? Instead of feeling like four hours of social studies homework? Yeah.
JB: Chalky White's "I ain't building no bookcase" monologue from last week changed everything for those of us (aka America) who watch this because it's something we think we're supposed to do. This week changed everything back. Steve Buscemi's a great actor and a good director but I think buying Steve Buscemi as The Guy In Charge Of Everything is part of Boardwalk Empire's problem. The real-life Guy In Charge Of Everything was of Gandolfini-esque proportions. We know Gandolfini wasn't about to sign up for another HBO gangster series, so who else could have filled those big shoes? My immediate suggestion: Ray Winstone.
Cut to:
CC: Who the fuck is Ray Winstone? Is he a dancer? Does he have awesome abs? No? Fuck him.
Cut to:
JB:I'm replaying Boardwalk Empire in my head with Ray Winstone in it and every scene is immediately better.

30 Rock Live Episode
JB: We don't normally cover sitcoms because what is there to say besides It was funny or It wasn't funny, but this was a real triumph. I liked hearing actual laughter on a prime-time comedy. I liked the nervousness. I liked the whole we're-putting-on-a-show vibe. I know there was 30% less comedy than usual but I tend to miss about 30% so that was fine with me. If they did this every week, 30 Rock would be a much bigger hit. Even if they don't, someone should be thinking about getting a live weekly sitcom on the air. #thiswillneverhappen

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
JB: I did not watch this but Me At 16 did. Reason: one of the RH's of BH is named Lisa Vanderpump which is obviously hilarious but, to Me At 16, was also the name of the main reason to watch the video of the song from My Favorite Album Of All Time:
ABC - Poison Arrow
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - See the latest featured music videos.
Much Much Older Me stuck around long enough to see Camille Grammer wave goodbye to her husband Kelsey as he drove off to his big Broadway musical which turned out to be THE LAST TIME SHE WOULD EVER SEE HIM.

Sensitive Brother: What the fucking fuck? I'm not even in this episode. You see me for, like, thirty seconds. The whole thing's about our old craggy grizzled demon-hunter mentor. That dude's a supporting character. Supporting!
Lunkhead Brother: Yeah, I thought for my directorial debut...
Sensitive Brother: YOU DIRECTED IT, you son of a bitch? You're in it, though, right? No skimping on your brooding close-ups or angsty monologues.
Lunkhead Brother: I thought I'd take the opportunity to pay tribute to the classic Buffy episode The Zeppo and, by extension, Tom Stoppard's Rozencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, wherein a supposedly peripheral character takes center-stage.
Sensitive Brother: Asshole.

JB: Nigel Lythgoe's been doing a lot of pre-emptive defending of the new-look, not-at-all-doomed American Idol. J.Lo tells it like it is. Steven Tyler's got a heart as big as Texas. Randy Jackson's stepping up like never before. The upcoming season is all about artistic integrity. Raise the white flag, Lythgoe, Cowell's bringing the circus to town. Here come the clips!

and finally:

Movie Club

The Social Network
JB: We may have lost Cox and Arquette but we've gained Fincher and Sorkin from whom I want more movies right now( and also no TV from Sorkin ever again).
CC: I fucking loved almost everything about this movie and the things I did not love are just tiny nitpicks (WHY with the equation-writing on the window, I don't even care if they did that in real life, it's just such a busted movie thing at this point; I didn't even go to Harvard and I know fuck truck chicks don't look like that; it was jarring, although not unpleasant, to see the chick from Vampire Diaries, cuz it was like omg, that's not a groupie that's a VAMPIRE!; cats who look like Hitler already sounded wrong and then I looked it up and yeah, it apparently wasn't invented till two years after when the movie was set). But Andrew Garfield RULED, and of course I love JT, and the whole thing was literally a situation of, it started and I was already leaning nerdily forward in my seat, and then when the last scene ended I was like "what? it's over already? no! more please! more movie please!" Loved it.

JB: They missed out the BO from the start of the title. Ha!( It's not terrible but I'm sick of seeing Bruce Willis wander through movies like someone just woke him up from his nap)

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
JB: Money Never Sleeps. Except when it's watching Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

No comments: