Friday, July 23, 2010

Movie Club:Bad Movie Marathonathon!

Over at ,CC celebrates gay warlock classic The Covenant. That film's director, Renny Harlin's career is a one-man bad movie marathonathon. Cuthroat Island. Deep Blue Sea. Driven. Mindhunters. 12 Rounds starring John Cena. And The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Which is today's choice. For some reason, even though Andrew Dice Clay was unknown outside the US, this movie got a British release. I saw it in a Glasgow theater that was completely empty except for myself and my friend Gus. Neither of us were entirely sure what we were watching. The following year, I relocated to New York to work at SPIN magazine as the country's least qualified and erudite film critic. During my first few months on the job, I got the chance to interview directors like Quentin Tarantino, Cameron Crowe and Jim Jarmusch. Before the q&a sessions ended, I always made sure to ask my subjects, "Did you ever see this Ford Fairlane movie?" Tarantino had seen it and hated it. I told him, "It gets better after the first 20 minutes." He stared at me. "I walked out after the first twenty minutes." Then he made a note to see it again. Cameron Crowe had not only seen it but could quote from it. I can't remember what Jim Jarmusch said but we totally bonded over the fact that I was living in a Brooklyn apartment he'd recently vacated. A few years later, I moved to LA to give the movie business a shot. I found myself in a meeting with Renny Harlin. Obviously, this was an amazing opportunity to tell him of my efforts to spread the word about his movie. But he was more interested in talking about his phone's shitty reception. Then he pitched a movie idea that I forgot while he was talking about it. Which was just as well. What would I have said to him? "I'm not a fan of your work. I'm especially not a fan of Dice Clay. But I am a big fan of Heathers screenwriter, Daniel Waters. I like how he gets brought in to save big unsalvagable messes like this and Hudson Hawk and he just makes them weirder and more ridiculous."
Ford Fairlane completely torpedoed Dice's chance of a big screen career, for which we should all be grateful. It's first twenty minutes are a complete abomination. And, of course, this trailer consists almost entirely of highlights from the first twenty minutes. But trust me, after that...actually, don't trust me, it's been years since I've seen it.

No comments: