Sunday, October 11, 2009

TV Club: Work In Progress

I have a few things in common with my literary colleague, Cherry Cheva. We're both members of the Los Angeles Young Authors anarcho-syndicalist collective. Surprisingly, we're both Los Angeles-based authors of books aimed at young adults. She has the acclaimed novels, She's So Money and Replikate to her name. I'm responsible for Hottie and it's forthcoming sequel, Burning Ambition. We're both `represented' by the same agency. As a writer/producer on the Emmy-nominated Family Guy, she makes America laugh on a weekly basis. As co-author of such movies filmed with cameras as Max Keeble's Big Move and Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector, I...well that's where our paths separate. But then they join up again because it turns out we're both selective TV viewers. And so, in what might become an exciting recurring feature, or end up being something we try once and immediately abandon, we're going to attempt to comment on the shows we've consumed.

This innovation might be called TV Club. Or Cherry And Jonathan's TV Club. Or Jonathan And Cherry's TV Club. Or JONATHAN'S TV CLUB!!! (with cherry). I like that one best. Here's the first, and possibly last, one, which will also run, at some point, on Cherry's blog

So You Think You Can Dance

CC:LOVE Boston krump guy
JB: Like: Iveta the Lithuanian Bond villainess. Fear: Legacy's going to be Philip 2.0 : one-note b-boy floundering through other styles but kept afloat by giant wave of popularity.

Top Chef

CC: HATE Padma Lakshmi's green onesie pantsuit thing.
JB: Toby Young. Never funny. Never ever.
CC: I agree. Get rid of him. He is a pox on reality show judging. I don't even know if I used that term right but the point is he sucks.

Dancing With The Stars

CC: Jabbawockeez!

Top Model:

CC: Jabbawockeez!
JB: 1) Backwoods Bundchen FTW
2) Erin's got kind of a Jennifer Jason Leigh in Last Exit To Brooklyn thing going on.
3) What's up with no My Life As A Cover Girl for last cycle's winner?

Real Housewives

CC: She by Sheree, you've been served. I'm hereby starting Che by Cherree, a clothing line devoted entirely to flannel, Star Wars t-shirts, and other extremely fashionable items I wear to work. Call me if you wanna be in the promotional video and say the word "slovenly".
JB: Two reality show murders in the same month. The dude from Megan Wants A Millionaire and now Kandi's ex. Three makes it a trend. (I'm looking at you Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins)

Project Runway

JB: Oktoberfest must have been a dark dark time for Heidi from the way she she aufwieder'd Epperson
CC: Can we talk about Tamara Mellon's botox? Okay, we just did.


CC: Hmmm. Serial killer. Cool. Victor as serial killer. Super cool. Echo as a schoolgirl. Eh. Echo as a slutty schoolgirl. Eh again. More serial killer stuff, more coolness. Oh, now Echo's the serial killer, I guess that's kind of--HOLY SHIT VICTOR AS A SCHOOLGIRL DANCING VICTOR IS DANCING VICTOR IS DANCING VICTOR BEAT UP SOME GUY AND NOW HE IS HUGGING BALLARD THIS IS HEREBY ALMOST AS GOOD AS THE ANGEL WHERE ANGEL TURNED INTO A MUPPET THE END
JB: I would rather have seen Jesus Christ resurrected than this show. It fails on every conceivable level. Doesn't work as a paranoid thriller. No tension. Not funny. No interesting characters. Except for Dr. Saunders who is now gone. Really? Okay, but if it doesn't improve after that, I'm officially done with it.

The Mo'Nique Show

JB: Slice open Oprah, shove Tyra and Wendy Willams inside and that's how voluble and unembarrassable future Academy award nominee Mo'Nique is. This, verbatim, is the opening monologue of her first late-night BET talk show: Aaaaah...AaaaaaHHH...AaaaaAAAAHHHHH...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Then she cried.
CC: I have never seen this program and realize now that this was a life mistake on my part. *goes to set DVR*

1 comment:

Alexa Young said...

I guess Jonathan with a Cherry on top would just be inappropriate, right?